


Friends Don't Let Friends Get Their Souls Eaten

by Jackxter



Series: World of Stars [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Action/Adventure, All Myths Are Real, And They Want To Eat Your Soul, Comedy, Creepypasta, Eldritch Abominations, F/F, Faire Folk, Folklore, Frisk's Superpower Is Being Adorable, Gerson Has Seen Some Shit, Goblins, Good Monsters Versus Evil Monsters, Government Conspiracy, Government Obstruction, Humans Aren't Bastards, If You've Read This, Monster Nation, Monsters Want to Help, One Of The Things Listed Here Isn't Actually In The Fic, Or Is It?, Papyrus is a Friend to All Living Things, Politics, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route - "I want to stay with you.", Protective Papyrus, Secret Societies, Sprites, Tem Lead Proleteriate Revolution! Yayayaya!, Thule Society, To Show You've Read This, Undertale Monsters Versus Classic Monsters, Undyne is a Badass Fishy, Vampires, Werewolves, You Should Totally Kudos, does anyone actually read these?, fighting evil, lovecraft, yep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:12:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9238487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackxter/pseuds/Jackxter
Summary: ‘To those whose nature is concealed, a monster’s touch shall make revealed.’After arriving back on the surface and settling near Mt. Ebbot, Sans and company soon learn a little more on the background of the Human-Monster War. Namely, that it may not have been started by either side... or ended.And now it's time for Sans and friends to lay the smack down on who did! Beeeeya!"It's kind of like the X-Files mixed with Supernatural mixed with Torchwood, but instead of humans vs. monsters, it's Undertale monsters versus classic mythological monsters like vampires, plus a little bit of Lovecraftian goodness thrown in, too. You know, folks who don't mean anyone well."- Someone Who Totally Isn't Me





	1. The Soulless

The governor’s office was in chaos. While Asgore had politely tried to explain that the tentacle creature attached to the governor’s neck could not be removed through physical force, the governor had completely ignored his warnings, and was now rolling on the floor, crashing through various pieces of furniture, and generally making a huge mess of the place in a feeble attempt to yank the cone-shaped creature off. The problem was, the more he tugged, the tighter the foot-long beast gripped him with its suckers, and the more he gripped, the harder it was for Frisk and the three monsters there to help.

“Governor, we need for you to refrain from moving!” Papyrus cried. “It’s the only way we’re going to get it off you!”

“I, uh, I don’t think he’s listening, Paps,” Sans simpered.

“Then we need to restrain him for his own good!”

“Nobody’s touching anyone!” growled one of the governor’s body guards, pointing his pistol at Papyrus and then (attempting) to aim back at the creature, his hands shaking. “Back away from the governor right the fuck now!”

“Just shoot the god damned thing already!” the man cried.

A second bodyguard shook his head, sweating. “We can’t get a clear shot with you moving around, sir!”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say!” Papyrus cried. “But you’re not going to do much good with that water pistol thing! Let Sans use his magic!”

“That’s uh, not a ‘water’ pistol, Paps,” Sans explained. “It shoots… er, I’ll explain it to you later.”

“Regardless, heed my advice!”

The bodyguard fiercely shook his head. “Uh uh, no way! For all we know you _made_ that thing with your freaky magic or whatever! God, can’t believe I just said that.”

The second bodyguard gave him a look. “There’s a fucking Cthulhu hellbeast attached to Governor Richards’ neck and you’re having second thoughts about magic, Steve?”

“Not helping, Larry!”

“W-Will everyone please just calm down,” Asgore gulped. “I’ve dealt with this type of thing before. Maybe some tea to calm the nerves will help? And stop that violent language?”

“Before?” Sans blinked. “I’ve never seen this type of- well whatever, following _your_ lead here.”

“Mr. Richards, you have to listen to them!” Frisk cried. “They’re only trying to help you!”

“GAAAAAAH!”

Mr. Richards was not listening.

Larry gritted his teeth, his finger now on the trigger. “Sorry kid, but we think _you’ve_ helped enough already!”

Asgore held up a finger. “I assure you, _we_ are not responsible for the Neck Cuddler! It was there before we even came! And again, they’re not even too dangerous unless you-”

“GEEEEEEEET OFF!” the governor screeched, giving it another big yank to no avail. By now, dark blue veins were beginning to show on the poor man’s neck.

“-provoke it,” he sweatdropped.

“Say what?!” Larry snapped. “Watchu’ talkin’ bout Willis?”

Asgore raised a finger. “Um, I believe you’re mistaken. I am Asgore, not Willis.”

“It’s just a… a thing, Asgore,” Frisk said.

“A thing?”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE THING!” Papyrus cried, exasperated.

“Shut up, all of you!” Steve hissed. “Just take the shot! I’ve had enough with dealing with _all_ of these freaks for one day!

“Feelings mutual, pal,” Sans growled. “Starting to think Papyrus shouldn’t have thrown you guys a _bone_ in the first place.”

“SAAAAAANS! NOT THE TIME OR PLACE!”

“Sorry, Paps, stress just brings out my _punny_ side.”

“AAAAAAAGH!”

* * *

“Yeah, and that’s when things _really_ went to shit,” Sans moaned, sitting around a campfire - Mt. Ebbot’s peak looming in the distance. 

Most of the population of the Underground that could move to the surface were now living in a tent city at the mountain’s base. It helped that Mt. Ebbot was considered a national park, with campsites readily available - their amenities included. Papyrus stood at a nearby pole-mounted grill, being taught the fine art of… grilling with Grillby. With Sans specifically were Toriel, Alphys, and Undyne, the latter of whom was sipping on a can of Red Bull.

“Any luck getting your wings, by the way?” Sans prodded.

“Na,” Undyne grunted, crushing the now-empty can in her fist. “Maybe it only works for humans? Their magic could be different or somethin’..”

“I’m starting to think they don’t h-have _any_ magic - not any we’re familiar with,” Alphys said, tapping her chin. “Would explain why they couldn’t see the… Soulless everywhere, right? Is that what you called the neck creature?”

“Mhm,” Toriel chimed in. “Back before we were banished, humans could never see or sense most of them, as far as I can remember. Not without monster magic revealing them. ‘To those whose nature doth conceals, a monster’s touch shall make revealed.’”

“Huh,” Sans blinked. “Come to think of it, nobody noticed the little neck hugger was there until Papyrus poked it.”

Toriel smirked at him.

He shrugged. “Hey, you know Papyrus. He likes touching things.”

 _“Guilty as charged!”_ Papyrus called, overcooking a burger with extreme passion as Grillby sighed heartily.

Sans nodded. “Yup. Luckily, Asgore seemed to know what to do. Kept us from yanking it off. The uh, governor, heh, didn’t really follow orders too well, though. More he tugged on it, the more it stayed put. Jeez, Toriel, what in the world are we dealing with here?”

“I am not quite sure,” Toriel said. “I haven’t seen any of them for a long, long time. Not since I was a little one - before the barrier fell.”

“Huh, m-maybe Asgore can explain?” Alphys said.

Sans tapped his chin. “Asgore or… maybe someone even older than him.”

“Demons!” a hoarse old voice called, the origin of it being an old, green tortoise, who was now shambling towards the group, Undyne greeting him with an enthusiastic wave. “Or parasites! There’s lots of words for their kind, and many kinds of them there are. But they all have one thing in common: they don’t have a soul. Only way they live is by sucking off humans. Wah hah hah!”

“T-That sounds wrong for some reason, but I can’t put my claw on it,” Alphys sweatdropped.

“Sensei?” Undyne smiled at the turtle. “Eavesdropping, eh?”

“It’s all I do at this age - felt this was my cue,” he shrugged. “Hope I’m not intruding, your majesty.”

“It’s just Toriel now, Gerson, and you are more than welcome to join us,” Toriel smiled. “My memory has a few holes in it. Perhaps you can help fill them in?”

“Yeah, what do you mean by ‘sucking off human souls?’” Undyne said incredulously.

“Oh come on, kid,” Gerson grunted. “Not that complicated. They like eating human souls. Fat, greedy little bastards, too. They eat and they eat until they are ready to burst before retreating to sleep off their meal. That pretty makes up their entire existence.”

“Huh, sounds somewhat familiar,” Toriel said innocently, throwing a teasing smile at Sans.

“I don’t deny anything,” he shrugged. “But uh… how come we’ve never seen any of these things underground? I thought every monster was banished?”

“Different types of ‘monsters’,” Gerson continued. “Not even monsters, really. The spell that trapped us inside wasn’t meant for em’. Really, the only thing we have in common with them is that humans would call us all ‘supernatural’. We’re all magical creatures.”

“A-Are you saying they’ve been living around humans, feeding off them since we were banished?” Alphys shivered. “And the humans don’t know? T-That’s creepy.”

“It’s complicated,” Gerson said. “Again, there’s lots of different kinds. Some can think, others, like that Neck Cuddler, are as dumb as a… a really dumb animal. Some like to take human hosts or have little quirks that make em’ visible to em’ if they look hard enough. Humans had many names for those ones: vampires, faire folk, boogymen, yokai-”

Alphys’ eyes widened, her lips parting.

“Wait, what?!” Undyne shouted, suddenly standing up. “I knew it! I knew some anime was real! Frisk, you lied to me, you little punk!” She suddenly paused. “Hey, where is Frisk, anyway?”

“Still trying to seal the land deal with Governor Richards,” Sans said. “Asgore figured it’d be best if the rest of us left after the, heh, ‘incident’. ”

Gerson gazed at Undyne, bemused. “And what in the world are you blabbering about, child?”

“Ehehe, it’s Yo-Kai Watch,” Alphys piped up sheepishly. “It’s an anime. Bout monsters. E-Er, bad monsters. It’s not really that good. The manga’s much better.”

“Yeah, but if that’s real, who knows what else is?!” Undyne grinned. “Giant Robots, Super Saiyans, Death Notes?! Maaaan, can’t wait to get access to the Overnet!”

“You mean the internet?” Toriel asked.

“Whatever.”

“Wait a minute, I think we’re overlooking something here…” Sans said. “So these soul sucking demons… I guess they’re dangerous for humans, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Gerson nodded. “Even if they don’t eat any souls, they can make humans feel sick, lethargic… The worst it can do is drive folks completely insane… oh, and death. Forgot about the death part. And the ingrown toenails.”

“Yep, this is gross,” Undyne grunted.

“But informative!” Alphys beamed, notebook in hand. “K-Knowledge is power, right!?”

“Whatever, nerd.”

Alphys whimpered slightly.

Undyne chuckled, elbowing her. “Why do I need to learn when you can do it for me, my _super sexy_ nerd?”

She squeed, bouncing slightly.

“But everyone’s okay, right, Sans?” Toriel asked worriedly.

“Oh yeah, they’re peachy,” Sans chuckled. “Governor was close to kicking _everyone_ out - maybe even having us arrested - until Frisk mentioned how much gold was stored in the Royal Treasury. No more powerful force in the world than human greed, I guess.”

“What about the Neck Cuddler?” Toriel asked.

Sans smirked. “Taken care of.”

* * *

 “Fuck it, I’m taking the shot if you’re not, Larry, you big pussy!” Steve shouted.

“Dude!” Larry cried. “Are you sure about this!? You can’t shoot for shit!”

“WHAT?!” the governor screeched.

“Yeah, shouldn’t have said that out loud, but still!”

“Screw it!” Steven howled, taking aim at the Neck Cuddler. “Time to die, you hentai reject! Daddy’s getting extra money in the bank, baby!”

The room held its breath as Steve pulled the trigger… only to miss his mark and shatter a potted plant in the corner of the room.

“No!” Asgore gasped. “Not those lovely petunias!”

He then gave the Neck Cuddler a death glare that froze everyone in the room - including the creature itself.

“You!” he snarled. “Creating a commotion during a civil meeting is one thing, but causing the destruction of lovely floral arrangements...”  
His eyes flashed red.

“Oh jeez,” Sans gulped. “A-Asgore?”

“YOU HAVE COMMITTED A CRIME AGAINST NATURE, _AND MUST BE DESTROYED!.!.!_ ”

And with a flash of the Monster King’s fire magic, the creature was burned to a crisp with a pinpoint precision only thousands of years of practice could muster. The room continued to hang in stunned silence, only broken a minute later.

“Ehehe, how about that tea?” Asgore beamed. “And, um, could someone explain what hentai is?”

* * *

 “Figures that that would be what motivates him to save the day,” Toriel grumbled, folding her arms. She then rubbed her temples. “But at least once the deal goes through, we won’t be living here illegally anymore, yes?”

“...”

Sans?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” he sighed. “Just… kind of have a _bone_ to pick with those humans.”

“Oh?”

“It’s just… we did them a favor by getting rid of the Soulless, right? Just wish they would have shown us some gratitude - instead, they tried to blame _us_ for it. Too much to ask for, though, huh?”

“Don’t judge them too harshly, kiddo,” Gerson sighed. “They just didn’t know what they’re dealing with.”

“Meh, I say screw em’, Sans,” Undyne grunted, folding her arms. “Who cares what the humans think of us! All we need from them is a little bit of land and for them to leave us alone, right?”

Sans remained silent.

“Right?”

“Eh, I dunno, _tibia_ honest,” Sans sighed. “Just got mixed feelings, I s’pose.”

“About what?”

“Eh…”

Undyne practically facepalmed. “Ugh, that’s what I get for trying to talk about emotions like a girly girl. You are so difficult, Sans! And the weirdest thing of all is you're brothers with  _Papyrus!_ He can't get enough of that sensitive crap.”

_"Holding back ones feelings only leads to unnecessary pain! Your friends love you and are here for you - give us everything you have!"_

"You bet, Paps," Sans sighed.

"Sweet Monster Jesus," Undyne groaned.

"Who?" Sans blinked.

"I-It's a thing," Alphys shrugged. "She's doing a thing."

"Okay."

Toriel smiled. “Well, I’m just glad things went over as smoothly as they have so far.”

“Wouldn’t call what just happened, smooth, Tori,” Sans said.

“I’m talking about in general. I was worried that the humans may not have changed much over the years, but it seems quite a few of them have taken a lesson in kindness and trust. Remember all the protests when that nasty politician wanted to force us back into the mountain?”

“Heh, yeah, that was pretty cool,” Sans smiled. “And that one other senator really stood up for us, too. The dude from Vermont. Frisk really won his heart over, I think. No wonder she always keeps her eyes half shut - those puppydog peepers could kill.”

“H-Helps that Mt. Ebbot is in one of the more progressive areas of the country, too,” Alphys chirped. “They’re more… trusting.”

“Meh, I still think the humans are just trying to get somethin’ from us,” Undyne grumbled. “Healing magic. It’s _all_ the news reporters wanna talk about. They think it can solve all their problems: cancer, AIDs, clinical depression, the whole nine yards.”

“Eh, yeah,” Sans said, moving his head back and forth. “Nice that we have something to trade, though - ya know, to help guarantee our freedom. But...”

Gerson stared at him pensively, before a smile slowly crept to his face. “You think there’s something else we can trade?”

“Not just trade,” Sans sighed. “Something that is our moral responsibility to _give_ , even if we don’t get a pat on the back.” He then rolled his small dots for eyes. “Heh, look at me talking about ‘moral responsibility’”.

 _“And I’m proud of you for doing so, Sans!”_ Papyrus called, adding a dash of fire starter to the grill, much to Grillby’s chagrin. _“What?! It’ll help bake the grease away!”_

“Thanks, Paps,” Sans chuckled.

“W-Wait, what do you mean, Sans?” Alphys asked.

Sans cleared his throat. “What I mean is, if the Soulless are hurting humans and only monsters can do something about it - ya know, like earlier - shouldn’t we, ya know… do something about it?”

Toriel raised her eyebrows. “That’s… surprisingly proactive of you, Sans.”

“ _Now I’m double proud of you!”_ Papyrus called, now standing in front of a raging inferno.

Sans shrugged. “Eh.”

“More like _dumb_!” Undyne grumbled. “Come on, Sans, we don’t owe the humans jack shit! They sealed us away in the first place and half of them have been treating us like garbage!”

“True,” Sans admitted.

Gerson gazed at them, his mind in another time. “I wouldn’t dismiss the idea that quickly. Before the war, there were entire groups of monsters dedicated to doing just that: the Hellsingers, the Nightwatch…”

“Ooooo, and the Silver Arrows!” Undyne suddenly proclaimed. “I remember you talking about them! Badass werewolf hunters!”

“What happened to not caring?” Toriel smiled.

Undyne shrugged. “Hey, who says you’d need to fight werewolves to help humans? Just fighting werewolves alone would be kickass! I mean, _you’re fighting werewolves!_ That's friggin' awesome!”

“A-And scary,” Alphys shivered, hugging Undyne tight.

“That’s part of what makes it awesome!”

Sans shot her a confused glance. “Werewolves?”

“Big, furry killing machines,” Undyne grinned. “Look like humans during the day, but transform under the full moon. I always thought you were just making stuff up about them, Gerson.”

“Nope, they were, and probably still are, very real, you betcha!” Gerson grunted. “Not exactly, Soulless, though… well, kind of...”

“Let me guess, ‘it’s complicated,’” Toriel joked.

“Always is,” Gerson shrugged.

“How about something less complicated?!” Papyrus suddenly beamed, marching into the scene with a plate full of burgers. “Like a delicious, non-greasy dinner courtesy of Papyrus and Grillby!”

Grillby shot him a look.

“Eh, well mostly Grillby, but I helped!”

“Looks delicious, you two!” Toriel smiled.

“Hell yeah it does!” Undyne said, practically drooling. “Nothing better than a greasy-”

“Non-greasy!” Papyrus pouted.

“-Grillby’s burger!”

“What’s the occasion, ole’ buddy?” Gerson asked Grillby.

“To celebrate the land deal - or at least the idea of it,” Grillby explained. “Told Papyrus he didn’t need to help - that he earned a good dinner with the whole mascot thing, but he uh, insisted.”

“Must. Learn. More. Cooking!” Papyrus said robotically. “Expanding my culinary skills outside of spaghetti is my new life goal!”

“That’s my bro,” Sans said proudly, biting into his burger. “Mm-mmm, and just like back in Snowdin. You’re the man, Grillby.”

“I do what I can,” he chuckled, before turning his attention to a pair of figures moving towards the camp from the distance. “Looks like we’ve got more dinner guests.”

“Asgore! Frisk!” Undyne greeted the two happily as they made their way into camp, monsters gazing at them curiously, mainly at the two victorious smiles they were sporting. “Wassup, you two!”

“Nothing but joy and good news!” Asgore proclaimed proudly. “We have sealed the land deal! Mt. Ebbot now officially belongs to us all!”

“Seriously!? You did it?!” Undyne beamed.

“Yup!” Frisk smiled. “50 square miles around Mt. Ebbot!”

“I can’t believe it! This is amazing!” Papyrus bounced, nearly dropping a plate of burgers.

“Heh, did you have to whip out the ole puppydog peepers, kiddo?” Sans asked Frisk. “Can’t see how it’d have gone through without em’.”

Frisk winked, before giving him a full dose of them.

“Oh god,” Sans cried dramatically, clutching the spot where his heart would be. “With great power comes great responsibility, kid. Always remember that.”

Frisk giggled, before giving the skeleton a big hug.

“Awwww, t-this is too adorable!” Alphys cooed.

Undyne rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, now let’s cut the sappy stuff and get to partying already! Hit it, Napstablook!”

Nearby, the dapper ghost nodded, and as if he had been preparing for this moment, immediately activated a sound system powered by a car battery.

“Yeeeeeeeah! _Spooktunes v10_!” Undyne grinned, getting up and beginning to spontaneously dance. “You rock, little buddy!”

Like a spark hitting gasoline, the entire camp immediately erupted into celebration as well. What was once a somber mood became one of euphoria, and music, dance, and chatter of what was to come spread through the night.

“Looking forward to rebuilding Grillby’s up here!”

“I can’t wait for it!”

“I call dibs on building my house at that spot by the stream!”

“oooo… I wanted that spot…”

“There’s room enough for two! We’ll be neighbors!”

“yay!”  

“And I can build my new media empire on Youtube! MTT Entertainment will dominate the human internet! Ooooo, Asgore, do you think I can get enough land to build another resort up here, too? The hot springs are just begging for use!”

“Can’t see why not!”

“What are you gonna do, Temmie?”

“Tem use saved gold todo high frequency stocks trading! Tem dominate Wall Street and reform it as a force fo’ good, not evil!”

“W-Wait… what?”

“TEM TAKE CAPITALISM AND MAKE IT WORK FOR PROLETARIAT! IF NO WORK, TEM BURN CAPITALISM TO THE GROUND! YAYAYAYA!”

“What?! This… this isn’t even related to-”

“Tem learned bout’ Karl Marx in economic philosophy class! Working class bein’ sploited by greedy Bourgeoisie, Burgerpants!”

“Can’t say I disagree, but who’s Karl Marx?”

“Wwwaaaaaaaah?! You no know?! Tem must teach you bout’ class consciousness!”

“I’m confused… but intrigued.”

And as the night went on and as Burgerpants was quickly converted into a Communist, Sans’ group forgot all about their previous conversation.

For now.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

Author's Note: Hi there! If you liked this bit of insanity, don't forget to drop a kudo, or even better, a comment! ^_^.

Seriously, I need those things to live.   
  
Oh, and extra special thanks to my good friend, [Lusewing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lusewing/pseuds/Lusewing), for listening to my ramblings on the fic and giving me so many good ideas ^_^. You rock, Luse.


	2. A Keen Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Papyrus watch the news, Sans tries to do more research on the Soulless, and a strange new visitor puts Sans on edge.

A month later, in his newly constructed house, Sans sat on the couch he had just got done salvaging from his old house in Snowdin, flipping through various news channels talking about, what else? Them.

_“A large amount of goodwill is still being shown towards the Monsters of Ebbot due to King Asgore’s generous donation in gold to low income housing projects, an equivalent of over $3 trillion in US dollars. Homelessness in America is expected to drop to an all time low, and pro-monster rallies have continued to spring up in all major cities as thanks. This donation has been one of many by the Monster King, with the next expected to be given towards struggling Native American communities-”_

“So cool,” Sans smiled, flipping to another channel.

*Click!*

_“We’re back here with our interview with Dr. Cornell West with his take on recent Monster-Human relations. Dr. West, how do you feel about the new, softer tone, the population is taking towards Washington State’s newest residents?”_

_“Well, while I still fear for our monster brothers and sisters, mainly due to the undoubted historical fact that humans have had less than amicable relations with each other in regards to race and identity, the good will shown between our two peoples has exceeded even my most optimistic expectations. The fact the military blockade has been lifted so soon around Mt. Ebbot and that there hasn’t been any major incidents with violence towards them might as well be due to a miracle... or perhaps, an angel. Ambassador Frisk, who I’ve personally worked with a number of times, has played a big role in-”_

“So cool!”

*Click!*

_“No, I don’t think Monster magic undermines previous scientific discoveries at all.”_

_“Really? Some of your colleagues seem to be, um, panicking a little bit over recent revelations, Dr. Tyson.”_

_“Nope, I don’t fall into that group. ‘Magic’ is just another word for something we don’t understand. It’s been used that way throughout history. Why do the stars and moon move through the skies? Magic? Well no, as it turns out, it’s just due to the Earth’s rotation. How can monsters ‘see’ human souls? What *are* human souls? Magic?_

_In truth, we might not ever know how it works. We might just not be smart enough to understand it - not yet. Cus you know, there were plenty of things we *didn’t* and still don’t understand before the Monsters arrived: dark matter, dark energy, what came before the Big Bang, you name it, and we haven’t made much progress in figuring those things out since their discoveries. We’re still just making educated guesses._

_My main point is that while we may not understand it, it doesn’t mean we should shun it, be afraid of it, or try to discredit its existence entirely; it exists and it isn’t going anywhere. Well, unless certain people who I will not name get their way in Congress._

_But yeah, we need to be cautious yet curious about it. Heck, I find it pretty damn cool myself - not only because there’s so many practical uses of magic such as its medicinal forms, but because it opens up a whole new field of study, and one that our new Monster friends can help us with directly.”_

“Love ya’, Neil. So cool!”

*Click!*

_“The first phase in major construction projects in Ebbot have been completed, with housing now available for the vast majority of the Monsters living there. The next phase will involve the construction of government and commercial buildings, going in line with King Asgore’s decision to push for Ebbot to become a more sovereign, self-governing entity similar to many Native American tribes in the United States.”_

“Know this, but still, so cool!”

*Click!*

_“Tem say Capitalism must be reformed or a Proletariat revolution will be inevitable, yayaya!”_

_“Uh, our question wasn’t about that, M-Ms. Temmie. We were just interested in how you managed to acquire so much gold to invest in the stock market.”_

_“Tem sell many Temflakes!”_

_“T-Temflakes?”_

_“U buy Temflakes? Good for diet!”_

_“Um, maybe later. Let’s talk about your future business plans...”_

“... So cool?”

*Click!*

_“Oh, getting two million subscribers in under a month wasn’t too difficult. Could you blame people for wanting to see more of mwah? Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my cousin Blooky and our good friend Shyren. Those two have an unprecedented talent for writing music. I’m just the face of the channel, they’re the brains! Though it is a lovely face, don’t you think?”_

_“Of course, Mr. Mettaton.”_

“Somewhat cool.”

*Click!*

_“It’s not that we doubt your capabilities as a ruler, King Asgore, it’s just that true monarchies in the modern day are fairly rare.”_

_“No no, I understand. And please, just Asgore is fine. Honestly, the only reason we aren’t much of a democracy is… well, nobody’s really asked for it before. The moment my people want me to step down, I will. My heart belongs to them, as does my will.”_

“So cool!”

*Click!*

_“-President Toby Fox has approved the narrowly passed bill allowing the proposed joint human-monster school on the border of Ebbot and Washington State. Ambassador Frisk has applauded the act, calling it yet another excellent move in pro human-monster relations. Ambassadors from the UK, France, and other nations around the globe have also praised the action._

_Toriel Dreemur herself, formerly Queen Toriel and the former wife of King Asgore, is expected to both teach and participate in administrative decisions involving the school. Meanwhile, educators from around the country have already volunteered to fill the human portion of the staff. Educators such as Mr. Keen Corbeau, hailing from Wilmington, Delaware. He’s been teaching for over 30 years.”_

_“Though I feel bad about leaving my old school behind, I feel this is an excellent opportunity both as an educator and as a human. I can’t wait to see what secrets the monsters have to share, and what we can share with them.”_

“Soooooo coool-”

_“Not all were happy with the bill being passed, however. Majority Leader Senator Winter Raven has proposed counter-legislation to undo the act, citing that the large amount of protests among the constituents of his party’s colleagues who voted ‘Yes’ may change their minds a second time around.”_

“Not cool,” Sans sighed. “ _This_ friggin’ guy...”

_“All we’re seeing now is the calm before the storm,”_ the senator spoke, his deep, intimidating voice resonating from the television, and his unnerving, glassy eyes looking as cold as a winter storm. _“This recent bill is just another step in the wrong direction. When the monsters run out of gold and things to give, their supporters will turn on them. It’s human nature to fear what they don’t understand, and as many in the scientific community would agree, monsters do indeed defy understanding. So again, I say this with their best interests in mind: monsters need to return from where they came immediately… before it’s too late.”_

“Bleh,” Sans growled, turning off the TV. “There goes my good mood.”

“H-He means well, though, right?” Papyrus said, sitting next to Sans nodding to himself. “Of course, I completely disagree with him, but he’s only trying to protect us.”

Sans sighed. “Wish I could share your optimism, Paps, but the guy just gives me the heeby-jeebies.” He then smirked. “Hehe, hey Paps, why is that senator’s first name Winter?”

“Oh no…” Papyrus groaned.

“Cus he _chills_ people to the _bone._ ”

Papyrus gave him a blank look. “That was terrible. Waaay beneath your standards.”

Sans’ smile widened. “So you’re saying I have good standards in jokes?”

“What?! No- I mean, yes, sometimes, I mean- ugh, cut it out!”

“Hehe, thanks Paps,” Sans said. “I’d like to think I have a decent _funnybone._ ”

“And now my good mood is ruined, too!” Papyrus whined.

“Sorry,” Sans chuckled. “Wanna watch that Disney cartoon you like with Frisk when her and Tori get back? Wander Over Yonder?”

“So long as you don’t tell Undyne about it,” Papyrus grinned. “Heck to the yeah!”

Sans smiled. “Alright, I’ll be on the computer til’ then. Seeya, Paps.”

He began to get up.

Papyrus lifted a finger. “Hang on.”

Sans froze. “Yeah?”

Papyrus gazed at Sans suspiciously. “What are you going to be doing on the computer?”

Sans glanced away from him. “Stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Real cool stuff.”

“Stuff you said you’d stop looking at?”

“For a while, I said for a while.”

“It’s been two days, Sans!”

“That sounds like ‘for a while.’”

Papyrus sighed. “Brother, while I find your conviction to research human mythology-”

“And cryptids. Don’t forget the cryptids,” Sans added.

“-to be quite refreshing, given your usual lazybones nature, it would be remiss of me to say that you have become a bit…”

“Obsessive?” Sans finished for him. “Maybe, but I betcha didn’t know how many Bigfoot sightings there have been in Washington State in the last year til now? Forty-seven, and five can’t be explained!”

“Ugh!”

Sans shrugged. “Well, how else am I supposed to find out more stuff about the Soulless?”

“That’s the point!” Papyrus groaned. “I think you’re worrying over nothing. We haven’t seen a single one in the area since the incident with the governor.”

“The incident the humans covered up,” Sans noted. “It’s a big planet, Paps. Real big. The Soulless might just be off feeding somewhere else, cus’ they’re too afraid of monsters to hang out nearby. Dunno how they found out about what happened, but they must have - now they’re turning tail.”

“Maybe the more intelligent ones,” Papyrus said. “But what about the animal-like ones?”

“I dunno, could be an instinctual response,” Sans shrugged. “Maybe a hive-mind or something among some of them? There’s so much I don’t know, and that’s buggin’ me. Even Gerson’s run out of answers for me.”

“Well, what did Asgore have to say?” Papyrus asked. “Surely he must have seen a few of them during his trips to Washington DC.”

“Hah, no doubt. But I tried talking to him about it, and he just blew me off - blew off Gerson, too,” Sans grunted. “ _And_ he shut down Alphys’ research expedition - the one that’d try to tell how many there are elsewhere, like in the major human cities. Said it’d be too dangerous.”

“He has a point, though,” Papyrus said firmly. “Even I admit there’s still quite a few humans out there who don’t mean us well.”

“Meh,” Sans said dismissively.

“Sans,” Papyrus said affectionately, standing up and putting a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I really do love seeing you this uncharacteristically proactive, but aren’t there a million other things to worry about at the moment? If you over-exert yourself, you might just shut down again.”

“Eh, maybe…”

“Maybe consider putting some limitations on yourself?” Papyrus advised.

“Fine, I’ll cut it down from eight hours of research a day to four, happy?” Sans winked.

“Not what I meant!” Papyrus moaned.

“Fine, three hours! Now, to the Sans cave!”

Sans looked as if he was about to dash away at high speed right when-

“We’re home!”

Toriel and Frisk walked in the door.

“Oh, uh, hey,” Sans said, trying to hide a hint of disappointment in his voice. “You guys are early.”

“Traffic from Olympia was better than expected,” Toriel beamed. “Oh, and you’ll never guess who was waiting for us at the check-in gate when we got back.”

“Oh, another human visitor?” Papyrus said gleefully. “I love human visitors! Who is it?”

Toriel smiled. “An educator who volunteered to teach at the new school! Sans, Papyrus, let me introduce you to… Mr. Keen Corbeau!”

Sans eye-sockets widened. Stepping through the door after them was an older, yet very tall man. Unlike many at his age, he wasn’t hunched over in the slightest, and instead seemed to be in very good physical shape. His face was slightly wrinkled, with its most prominent feature being a hooked-like nose. It was the same man that was on the news earlier - one who Sans barely gave a second thought. But now that he was near him in person, he couldn’t help but sense a certain familiarity about him he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

And it was one that made him shiver.

“Please,” he said in a rough voice, smiling. “Just Mr. Keen.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

Author’s Note: Get ready for a more hardcore version of PTA Sans ^_^. If you liked the fic so far, don't forget to a drop a kudos, or even better, a comment.   
  
Your input makes my soul light and fluffy!


	3. Intrepid (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Keen and the group have a chat, Papyrus goes on patrol with Undyne, and Sans receives a mysterious email.

Mr. Keen, Sans and company sat around the kitchen table, everyone drinking magically infused cups of coffee, tiny wisps of light swirling in them, save for Frisk, who drank a cup of hot cocoa of similar nature.

“Ahhhh,” Mr. Keen said, savoring the taste. “Beats the heck outa Starbucks, that’s for sure.”

“I knew you’d like it!” Frisk said. “Monster drinks are the best! They’re made partly of magic, right, Toriel?”

“Indeed, child” Toriel smiled. “It’s the only way for monsters to get any nutrition from them. We were afraid humans might not like them, but-”

“They’re just so tingly!” Frisk beamed. “It feels so good!” 

“Well, I wasn’t convinced I’d be staying until now,” Mr. Keen joked. “But I think this has sealed the deal.”

The group chuckled, all except Sans, who was sitting back in his chair with his arms folded.

“Brother,” Papyrus said, elbowing him. “Earth to Sans! It’s unlike you to miss a good joke!”

“Huh?” Sans said, quickly shaking his head. “Oh, sorry… just uh, lost in thought.”

“Well, I’m glad we found you!” Mr. Keen smiled, getting another chuckle out of the group.

“Hehe… yeah,” Sans sighed. “So… Mr. Keen, I saw you on the news earlier. Said you were from someplace called Delaware? Where’s that at?”

“I’m afraid not even Delawareans know where Delaware is half the time,” Keen grinned. “It’s the smallest state on the map aside from Rhode Island - east coast. I’m not surprised you overlooked it.” He then smiled warmly. “Doesn’t mean I don’t miss the place already, though. I’ve taught there for 30 years and lived there even longer.”

“Huh,” Sans mused. “What made you want to come all the way out here to teach a bunch of monster kids?”

“Sans,” Papyrus moaned. “I’m sure Mr. Keen has already been properly vetted. There’s no need for a second interview.”

“Just making small talk,” Sans shrugged.

“And it’s quite alright with me,” Mr. Keen chirped. “It’s really nothing I don’t mind talking about. Honestly, I was actually looking forward to retiring until I heard about the school being built here; partially because I was getting to that age, and partially because… well, to be honest, I haven’t been happy with the new regulations on teaching. They’re far too restricting. I like to teach things my own way - get the kids interested in the subject through specific techniques and go from there.”

“You must have been doing something right,” Toriel mused. “Your record shows you’ve won numerous awards and have one of the highest passing rates in Delaware.”

Mr. Keen sighed. “True. And that’s the sad part about it, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. Too many folks in the bureaucracy trying to tell us how to do our jobs, unfortunately, despite how many years of experience we have.”

“Sounds frustrating,” Sans nodded.

“Yeah,” Frisk added.

He smirked. “Like you wouldn’t believe. They mean well, though - some teachers, especially the newer ones, could certainly use a little guidance, I just wish they had asked for more input from us old farts when they were making these new rules.” He then waved his hand dismissively. “Bleh, no matter, I’m sure the last thing you want to hear is the ramblings of some old coot, right? We’re making history out here! I’m just glad to lend a helping hand, even if the rules are  _ ten times  _ as strict.”

“They most certainly will not be,” Toriel said, shaking her head. “Honestly, we’re going to need everyone to put their heads together to figure out the best way to teach both monsters and humans. Everyone will have a chance to put in their input.”

“That’s more than I could ask for,” Mr. Keen beamed. “I actually had a few ideas I wanted to go over with you, tomorrow, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, I’d be happy to hear them!” Toriel smiled. 

“Fantastic!” he grinned, slowly standing up. “Anyway, thanks so much for having me over, though I should probably check into my quarters. Papyrus, Sans,” - there was a particular glint in his eye as he mentioned Sans - “It was great meeting you both!” 

“You too, Mr. Keen!” Papyrus bounced. “Always love making new human friends!” 

“Yeah, it’s been cool,” Sans said in a slightly blank tone.

“Later, Mr. Keen!” Frisk waved.

“Are you sure you don’t need any help finding where you’re staying?” Toriel asked. “We could walk you over if you wish.”

“No, no,” Mr. Keen said politely. “I have a map - I’m sure I can find my way. Again, it’s been a pleasure. You all take care now!” 

And with a final set of farewells, Mr. Keen made his way out. 

“So…” Toriel said, glancing at Sans and Papyrus.

“So?” 

“What did you think of him?”

“Absolutely wonderful!” Papyrus grinned. “It is not often The Great Papyrus meets someone as polite and kind as himself!”

“Or humble,” Sans joked. 

Papyrus shot him a blank look. “El Oh El, Sans.”

Sans gave him a smirk. “What?”

“Oh come on, you’ve been on the human internet *and* Undernet long enough to know what that means!” 

His smirk widened. “Sorry Paps, just a lol in my thoughts, I s’pose.”

Papyrus narrowed his eyeholes, sighing. “Devious. Just devious.”

“You know I love ya’, bro.” Sans then glanced at Toriel. “Anyways, Tori, yeah - seems like a nice guy. Kids probably love him like a grandfather.”

“I hope I get to be in his class!” Frisk beamed at Toriel. 

Toriel smiled back. “I’m sure that can be arranged, young one. You are old enough to be in a 6th grade class, after all.” She then glanced at the clock. “Hey, isn’t that show you and Papyrus like coming on? Wander Over Yonder?”

“I only watch it because I like hanging out with Frisk!” Papyrus quickly corrected. 

“Suuuuure,” Sans said. “Is that why you know all the words to that song the little guy always sings?”

Toriel and Frisk giggled.

Papyrus’ eye-holes widened. “How do you know that?”

“You sing it in your sleep, bro. What were the words again? ‘When you wander, over yonder…’” 

“‘And check out this and-’” Papyrus suddenly covered his mouth. “NOT FAIR!” he cried. “I have no control over that! It’s Just. So. Catchy!” 

“Hey, nothing to be ashamed about,” Sans shrugged. “We won’t tell anyone you like kids cartoons.”

Another round of chuckles.

“AAAAAAGH!”

“Just bustin’ your bones, bro,” Sans grinned. “I like watching it, too. You up for it, kiddo?”

Frisk yawned, smacking her lips slightly. “Naw, I’m kind of tired. I think I’m going to head to bed.”

“Waaaaaaah?” Papyrus said. “It’s only 6:14! How can you be tired already?!”

Sans narrowed his eyes, a hint of concern in his voice as he said, “Yeah… kind of unusual. You usually stay up til’ like 10:00.”

“It was a long day at the governor’s office,” Toriel explained. “Governor Richards had quite a few questions that needing satisfying about the school. Politics wear me out, too. Always have. Come on, my child, let’s get you tucked in.”

Frisk looked up at her “Do you think I could still get a bedtime story this early, too, though, mom?”

“Of course!” 

“Awesome!” she beamed. “G’night Papyrus, g’night Sans.”

“Night kid,” Sans said, a hint of worry still in his voice.

“Nighty night! Don’t let the bone bugs bite!” 

With that, Toriel and Frisk made their way upstairs to Frisk’s room, closing the door behind them.

“Soooo…” Sans said.

“Huh?”

“Mind if I get a raincheck on TV for now? We can always watch the show on Netflix later.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Got some stuff I need to do,” Sans said.

“On the computer,” Papyrus said, giving him a look.

“Yup.”

“Relating to the Soulless?” 

“Kind of.”

“And I’m not going to be able to talk you out of it, right?”

“Nope.”

…

Papyrus sighed in defeat. “Well, alright, then. I think Undyne might want some company for border patrol tonight, anyway.”

“There ya’ go!” Sans beamed. “Heh, didn’t know she was letting you do that now.”

“Yup, and I only had to invite myself to the patrols several times for her to allow it, too!” Papyrus grinned.

“Oh? Have ya’ run into any problems yet?” Sans asked.

Papyrus shook his head. “Nothing that The Great Papyrus couldn’t handle! We mainly just find human teenagers and children trying to sneak in to get a look at our great Micronation of Ebbot - or perhaps, just The Great Papyrus himself! What a treat it must be to be booted from the premises by the one they came to see, eh?”

“Hehe, well they wanted to see monsters, they got to see monsters.”

“Exactly!” Papyrus said, before his grin faded. “Sometimes it’s not so fun, though. We frequently encounter monsters trying to leave Ebbot and have to remind them that King Asgore wishes for us to stay here for the time being. Better us than the human authorities catching them, though.” He glanced away. “They can sometimes be… not so nice.”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Sans sighed. “But hey, won’t last forever, right?”

“Right! Anyways, I’ll be off, then!” Papyrus said, waving at Sans as he made his way out. “Try not to stay on the computer all night, will you?”

“Can’t throw you that  _ bone,  _ I’m afraid,” Sans winked.

Papyrus threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Oh Sweet Monster Jesus, I can’t leave any sooner!”

Sans chuckled. “Love ya’, Paps!”

“... You too, brother. Good night.”

A second later, he was gone.

“Huh,” Sans said himself. “Looks like Undyne made it a thing. ‘Sweet Monster Jesus’. Catchy. Whelp, whatever, time to do  _ my  _ thing.” 

He then made his way down to the cellar of the house, using a keycard to unlock the door (he didn’t want Frisk or anyone to enter and hurt themselves). Within it was a makeshift lab of sorts with a high tech computer, a table with various test tubes on racks and other equipment, a large, bulky machine covered by a cloth, various photographs of both familiar and unfamiliar faces, and several white boards with different topics of interest on them:  _ Anomaly Theories, Soulless Notes, Meta-Universe Speculation.  _

“Cortana, pull of my emails, will ya’?” Sans said to the computer.

_ “Coming right up, chief,”  _ a female voice responded.

Sans had made some custom modifications to the widely available program to make it more responsive and… personable. 

“Let’s see here...” Sans said, eyeing his new emails, and cracking his finger bones. The first he clicked on was labelled,  _ ‘From NeiltySon - Thought This Might Pique Your Interest!’ _

“Eh?” 

He opened it, finding a link to an article on quantum entanglement. His eyes widened in delighted surprise. “Nice! Love ya’, Neil.” 

And below it was another link to a Youtube video, something called ‘Spooky Scary Skeletons’.

Sans shook his head as he clicked it, rolling his dots for eyes as the goofy tune vibrated through the room. “Little weird, Neil, but hey, I can take a joke. Now then...”

He bookmarked quantum entanglement link and carried on, reading through emails from everyone from Alphys to Asgore (which, to his chagrin, had nothing related to the Soulles in it) to Papyrus reminding him to buy more ketchup (he had drank it all). After a few minutes, he had completed his read through.

“Right. Now onto you, Mr. Keen,” Sans said, holding his chin in thought. “Cortana, pull up whatever information you can find on Keen Corbeau. Former residence: Wilmington, Delaware - LinkedIn profile, Facebook, whatever.”

_ “Do you want to know the type of coffee he drinks?” _

“Heh, if you can find it,” Sans smiled. “Sometimes I wonder if I’ve accidentally made you sapient, Cortana. Carry on.”

_ “Before I bring up the information, you should know you have one new email.” _

“Pull it up.”

_ “Complying.” _

…

...

Sans furrowed his brow. The latest email was titled:  _ ‘We Need To Talk,’  _ and was from an address Sans didn’t recognize:  _ LoL@CandyMan.com _ .

“Weird. Never heard of CandyMan.com,” Sans mused. “Cortana, pull up information on this email address. See what you can find.”

_ “No information found on  _ _ LoL@CandyMan.com _ _.” _

“Hm, try just CandyMan.com as an email host.”

_ “No information found on CandyMan.com.” _

Sans shook his head. “Alright, then, you’ve got my attention.” 

He opened the email.

_ ‘Sans.  _

_ To establish some level of trust between us, I should tell you that the FBI in conjunction with the NSA have been monitoring the web traffic of all your people, and there are direct surveillance assets in place to keep an eye on your leadership - and all meetings with them.’ _

“Figures,” Sans sighed, before reading on. 

_ ‘It is not my place to approve or disapprove of this action, but I will say it’s how I’ve been able to ascertain your interest in the Soulless - through one of my contacts in these organizations.’ _

Sans’ eyes widened. “Go on.”

_ ‘I am a detective, Sans, and I do not like cases that have beaten me. Nevertheless, in the past, there have been a few that have slipped through my fingers. While I suspected supernatural activity to be the cause of this, I labelled it as mere arrogance on my part at the time, finding excuses to having failed to crack the case. However, with your arrival on the surface, I began to suspect that perhaps I was onto something. Through my research, I believe I was not only right to suspect such a thing, but I may have found a way to even catch those responsible.  _

_ Some of the oldest texts mention that there were two groups of magical species in the world before the human-monster war. One group tried to coexist with humans peacefully - that would be you, and the other, the more malevolent, would feed off human life energies without them even knowing it. Only with the help of the first group, your people, could the second group be easily detected, since most of the malevolent entities could either blend into human populations or remain completely invisible without your ‘touch’ - such as the one that was feeding off of Governor Richards. ‘To those who’s nature is concealed, a monster’s touch shall make revealed.’’ _

“Alright, this guy’s definitely legit if he knows about all of that,” Sans said, reading further.

_ ‘It seems both of our governments, human and monster, would rather sweep anything involving the Soulless under the rug as to not jeopardize relations. Your monarchy has not replied to any of my inquiries about them or my attempts to get help in fighting this enemy, which is why I turn to you. I know you’re frustrated with a lack of information, and perhaps action, against them, given your meeting with King Asgore, and I can help with both.  _

_ If you’re interested in doing so, simply reply ‘yes’ to this email and I’ll arrange transportation from the Ebbot check-in area to meet with me at 2:00 PM sharp. Obviously, everything about this should remain secret. Oh, and don’t worry about the NSA or FBI seeing this email - my ‘friends’ in both organizations are making sure it won’t be seen by anyone by us.’ _

Sans nearly laughed out loud at the circumstance. With a flick of his fingers, he quickly replied ‘yes’. 

“Hehe,” he grinned, laying back in his chair. “Whelp, guess I’m not going to be bored for a bit.”

However, his grin subsided slightly when he read the last bit of the email he had missed.

_ ‘By the way, it’s not only our governments we should be worried about finding out about this. I have reason to believe some of the Soulless could be organized… and watching your people. After all, you’re the biggest threat to their existence at this point in time, and one of you who is actively working against them could be at an ever bigger risk. Try and keep that in mind. _

_ Sincerely, _

__

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 Author's Note: I should note that this is not a crossover with anything, but I do love my expies ^_^.


End file.
